Pushing Past Our Binaries

Before, you saw the current project with the eyes of possibility. “There will be so many options to choose from. We’ll make it work.”

Now, the project hit a wall, a boundary, and you see your options in the stark contrast of two options. To continue, or to leave. A binary, blocking your progress.

To push beyond that binary isn’t merely about inventing new options, as if you hadn’t tried that already. That’s because you’re in the heat of the moment, and all your options are weighed on a balance made of two sides.

So here are three uncommon options to consider.

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You can take stock in what you’ve gained from the project. You’ve earned skills, you’ve earned trust, you’ve accumulated proof of your abilities. You could leave with those, and that’s not nothing. You could also compose something new with those, and that’s not nothing either. No need to leave just yet, because now you have something to salvage. You can delay the decision for a little bit longer.

You can take a look at your certainties. “What am I so sure about?” Spot some hidden thoughts that start with “Either I… or else…” or “Unless this happens, then surely…” As an example: “If I talk to my client about this request I can’t work with, then I’ll appear as unprofessional.” Rewrite those certainties with something more nuanced. “Maybe if I talk to my client about this specific aspect, maybe we’ll find a third option together.”

You can also generate empathy for the other party. Looking at your own certainties is exercising empathy with your own deeper self, and now do it for the other person. Attempt to be in the shoes of your clients, your customers, those who would be impacted by your decision to continue of leave. Maybe you’ll see that they’ll concede on some points if it means you’ll find a way to stay that’s working for you. “My client probably wants a long-term solution as much as I want one. Maybe we have one last chance to make it work.”

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All progress tends to pass through bottlenecks, through pinching points. Without constraints, how will we find what we’re made of? These new options work because they recognize how you want to make progress, how the others want to make progress, and how to combine the two. A struggle is an awful thing to waste.